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Practicing Non-violent Communication

A lot of the time we don’t actually get taught what it means how to cultivate loving and safe communication. The relationship dynamics that play out within us play out almost exactly as they do on the outside, being a direct reflection of patterns we received or were programmed into. If you feel a sense of internal violence within yourself, such as one part of you in contrast, fighting, shaming, or bullying another part of you, you will also experience that reflection on the outside in your external relationships. Everything that we create in our reality is an indicator of a dynamic that is playing out within us and vibrating out into our physical experience.


For example, when there’s an internal energy of judgment and punishment, it’s only natural that we’ll seek that out on the outside, and almost expect it from loved ones, teachers, and friends. We may even feel that punishment equals love because that’s how we’ve been conditioned and taught to receive love. The tender and vulnerable inner children within us may be begging and pleading for a change in how we speak to ourselves, how we value ourselves, and how we care for ourselves, but they can’t make that change until you openly and honestly confront the reality of this dynamic within you.


Feeling these parts and negotiating between them to create a new dynamic, is your own source of inner relationship mediation. It’s your own source of liberation from a suppressing or heavy system or dynamic because it’s your internally created system to cope with what you felt was uncontrollable on the outside. Recoding these inner relationships means taking time to do the work, feeling deeply into both sides of the situation, and holding space for both sides and parts of you engaged in the dynamic. From that place, you’re able to deeply feel and reconcile from the original hurt, and work to re-pattern and re-code a new way of being.


I’ve been learning a lot about non-violent communication. The clunky steps and processes of it can feel like a totally new language, one that we have to consciously bring our awareness to, incorporating new vocabulary, holding old triggered reactions with compassion, and learning to communicate and express what we really need from the other person or situation. And how we really need and request to be treated. This form of learning takes vulnerability and patience with ourselves and others, the mistakes that we can make, because ultimately we are human and we are learning a new language and way of communicating. It can feel like a foreign language until it’s integrated into our system.


This is where parts work becomes a new language as well. Because instead of projecting to the outside what the “other” person is doing or intending, we reflect on where this inner dynamic is residing. We become aware of the aspects within us, the subtle ways that they communicate, how they see each other, and how they see you, and with Divine support can begin to unravel and decode that dynamic into a new way of being. And as you bring that awareness and recoding and heal on a quantum level, deeply feel and transmute the energy from its original trauma, the external situation naturally shifts and you no longer attract this dynamic on the outside.


For guidance and facilitation in this deep work, feel free to book a Quantum healing session or Intro call to feel deeper into this process




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