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Transactability in Relationships

Relationships are what make us human. Connection, communication, and community drive us because we are inherently social creatures. Whether we realize it or not we crave and need other humans. No matter how much of a lone wolf you are (and trust me, I’ve been there) relationships with others serve to ground us, reflect us and help us grow. Everyone comes into your life for a reason, whether to offer your next lesson or to reflect back on the triggers you need to acknowledge within yourself. They say that what you admire in another is what you admire in yourself, and vice versa what you don’t like about them is what you don’t like about yourself!

In your lifetime, you will most likely encounter soul family: the bonds between you and other souls on a higher dimensional level in your Soul Monad group (I learned this all from this book ( ). These are unbreakable bonds that have existed since the initial expansion (or Big Bang) of the Universe. We all split off from the original Source into groups and from those groups further fragmented into individuated consciousness. These are the relationships that have been with you through all eternity, showing up in your life in all different configurations and ways. Always with the purpose of guiding each other along, playing out karmic patterns to learn from each other, or just being a beacon of home and warmth. Meeting these other beings feels like an instant connection. Almost like you’ve seen each other before and have known each other for a long time, even if you just met. You may also find that your lives play out in parallel ways and you share many synchronicities. These bonds can come in any different relationship configuration and come into the perfect season of your life when you need them. As you vibrate higher and set the intention to find your soul family, they will start to appear.

But realistically, not all relationships in your life are going to be deep, meaningful soul bonds. We are all still interfacing with the 3D world to some degree, and with that comes the necessity of maintaining these 3D relationships. If you’re going through a spiritual awakening journey, you most likely have had to let go of lots of relationships that no longer resonate. Friends, romantic partners, colleagues, and often even birth family. A sign of significant growth is when you no longer feel drawn to the surface level things as much as people still rooted in that consciousness are. It’s almost like you don’t know how to relate to them anymore. They see that you’ve changed, maybe you don’t like the same things or substances that you used to, and that can feel threatening to their existence. You can choose to let these relationships go, or stay in them until it’s no longer bearable and your soul needs to make a clean break. That doesn’t mean you can’t come back and be a beacon or guide to them in the future, but when you’re at your most vulnerable, don’t bite the bullet to please someone else’s idea of you. Everyone is on their own journey, in their own timing, and will come to the divine truths you have in their own way.

When discerning whether a relationship is serving our highest growth or not, there are a few things we need to consider:

The most important aspect of whether a relationship is meaningful or not is the amount of transactability that takes place there. When two polarities come together, there needs to be space in between for the energy to play. The exploration and expansion happen in the gray area between the two stimulating each other. When two people are in the same vibrational plane and state of consciousness, their energies can meet and interact. What we vibrate is what we attract, and the people in your life are a reflection of that. When you choose to only think, speak and live consciously and abundantly, over time you will simply vibrate out and release anything that doesn’t serve that vision. If a conversation with someone doesn’t feel stimulating, doesn’t make you think or grow or reflect, is it even worth having? Do you want to keep gossiping, talking about TV shows and parties if that’s not what your soul resonates with anymore? You’ll know when you’re ready to move on because it’ll become physically uncomfortable to even be in that space. You just have to be aware of it. Notice how your body feels around certain people because the intelligence of the body never lies.

We also have to consider what lessons we need to learn from people. Every relationship serves as a mirror because we’re always projecting our inner world onto the outer and creating our reality. Pay close attention to the people in your life and how you feel about them to learn more about yourself. Notice what parts of you are being rubbed wrong and inquire why that is. When someone triggers or angers you, look inward and ask yourself where that reaction is coming from. Because truly we have the choice in how we react, even if our whole lives we’ve been reacting from unconscious triggers. Relationships can serve to make the unconscious conscious in that way, by reflecting and shoving into our faces what we need to learn and see about ourselves. When you no longer feel bothered by that person, or you can see the pain that they’re coming at you from, it can serve to transmute the bond and make you truly the “bigger person”.

That being said, your body and soul will know which relationships are meant to stay and which are meant to grow/go. You can become more aware of that by tapping into your intuition, feeling your body’s reaction to the thought of them, and assessing whether that transactability and growth ground is worthwhile.

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